I Missed You

So, here's a fun fact: depression is a bitch. (Sorry, Mom.) But it is. Depression will take everything from you, if you let it. It tried to take everything from me. Joy, inspiration, love, hope. My friends. My life. It will take it all and do it under the guise of "realism." Every color in life draining one by one until you think, hey, maybe this "color" thing was something I imagined as a kid.

A lot has happened since I announced the end of this blog. I got married, moved, had a kid, got a job, quit my job, had another kid, moved again. I spent a long time horrifically, paralyzingly, suffocatingly depressed. But then, a light on the horizon! A little periwinkle pill! And then a slightly larger yellow pill! Those feel like the first colors I learned to see when I started coming back to life. Then brown, the color of my daughter's eyes. Then green on the leaves of the roses I planted at the house I just lost but THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

The words came back, you guys. My words. The stories started pulling my hair again, the muse whispering in my ear. I started ditching movie night to type. I started finding new music. (Billie Eilish is my new Enya. Nobody try to change my mind.)

I've just been through one of the hardest periods of my life. Long long long story short, we gave up $250,000 of legal equity and a 4-bedroom house in the Napa Valley in exchange for peace of mind and the moral high ground.

Now I'm squatting in my grandmother's garage with all my possessions piled up to my elbows around me, (thanks Grandma!) but you know what? I have more space than I have in years. Space to breathe. Space to be myself. Space to dream. 

Space to write.

I've missed this. I've missed this blog. I've missed my books. I've missed being the person constantly bugging my friends with "OMG have you heard this song?!" because music is the tree upon which I inflict the parasitic vine of my stories. 

I thought about starting a new blog, because this one has some embarrassing stuff on it. Like, that time I thought I was done writing forever. But then I decided, no. You know what? Success is freakin' HIGH above all of us. And we only ever reach it by stepping on the debris of our mistakes. So, I'm not going to pretend I am wise or professional or know what I'm doing. Which, you know, goes against pretty much every piece of advice I've read for "Building Your Author Platform." But whatever. I'm not good at pretending to be better than I am. (Just check out my parenting blog if you want to see how bad I am at pretending I know what I'm doing).

So, hi. So, thanks for reading. So, check back for more of the content which you may have forgotten you once felt accustomed to receiving here-- dubious advice, non-aspirational insights into my writing process, and barely-relevant tangential rants. So, enjoy some new features I'll be introducing, like book reviews and sneak peeks at my new projects and even a giveaway I'll be hosting when I finish my book! (A giveaway for something other than my book, I swear.)

Slam that "Subscribe" link up at the top to get emails whenever I dump a fresh hot cup of brain juice out for your virtual slorping.

Please don't unsubscribe because of that.


Music Rec's of the Day:

- Siren by Kailee Morgue (aka, everything by Kailee Morgue)
- The Search by NF (basically the story of my last 5 years)
- Biscuit by Ivy Levan (best WTF you've ever heard)