Don't Call Me Princess: Writing a Female Protagonist Who Doesn't Suck

Kudos to you if you get why I used this picture to headline this post!

So as you know, I'm currently working on a Young Adult Science Fiction trilogy (that's a lot of words all in a row, there, isn't it?). And this series stars -- you guessed it-- a female protagonist.

I've been reading some interesting things about female protagonists lately. First there was this article, about all the reasons the author hates strong female characters. (I know, that was my reaction, too. But go read it before you get your underpants in a bunch-- the author actually has some really good things to say). Basically, the opinion piece talks about the tendency in storytelling for male characters to be many different things all at once, and female characters just to be one thing, whether that be Sex Symbol, Mother Figure, or Badass.

Then the other night, I was doing some research, trying to pick up tips on how to write believable romance (because believe you me, I can't get this stuff from real-life experience), and I found this abominable piece of crap. Seriously horrible, horrible advice. Like high-school-guidance-counselor-telling-you-not-to-pick-safety-schools bad. Well, maybe that's going a little far. 

Allow this Bloom County comic to convey my feelings on the matter :

What, you may be asking, do I find so bad about this advice?

Well, there was this little gem: after a page-long caution against making your heroine a Mary Sue, the author says, "When it comes to your love interest, it’s perfectly okay to make him a Gary Stu (the male equivalent of a Mary Sue)."

Because while audiences require well-rounded, believable, human heroines, all we want out of a hero is: 

"He must be ridiculously good looking.

• He must be ridiculously, ridiculously good looking.
• Seriously, he must be so good looking, it’s hard to look at him."

Charming.

But that's not my main objection. No, my really big annoyance was this treasure right here: "Make her strong as well.  Strong does not mean she goes around acting like a man – cursing, fighting, being spiteful or mean, etc."

I just... I can't... I...

Please give me a moment to organize my rage.

I'm going to try to explicate my objections to this statement in an orderly fashion, while suggesting what I believe it means to create a strong, believable female protagonist.

Point of Contention #1: Your heroine cannot act like a man.

Putting a pin, for a moment, in the wildly problematic assertion that there is such a thing as "acting like a man," as if all men and all of masculinity can be encapsulated in one set of actions, it seems awfully limiting to say that no compelling heroine can ever be a tomboy, or act in more "masculine" ways. What about teenage runaway Valerie, in Holly Black's Valiant, who shaves her head and wears baggy clothes (and gets into plenty of fights, and may even do some swearing)? Is she acting too much like a man for you, Mr. Blog-Writer? What about Alana of the Song of the Lioness series, who dresses like a boy for at least two of the books, and is literally acting like a man? What about a BAJILLION other examples of totally awesome, totally loveable female characters who act, in one way or another, more boyish than girly-girl? 

What I would say instead: Your heroine does not have to be tough to be strong. If you want to write about a tomboy with a mad swagger and a filthy mouth, awesome. Do it. But if you'd rather write about a shy girly-girl who secretly still sleeps with her stuffed rabbit Mr. Fluffernutter every night, awesome, do that too. A heroine doesn't have to be boyish to be strong, capable, and ultimately, a total badass. A love of pink does not equal inherent weakness. Conversely, a love of camo and chewing tobacco does not equal strength. Play against expectations. 

Point of Contention #2: Cursing, fighting, and being mean are "manly".

 You might not think so at first, but this belief, right here? This is perpetuating rape culture. If a girl can't curse or be rude because it's too manly, that means that if a man wants to prove his masculinity, he will use profanity, rudeness, and violence to assert himself. This dynamic, of masculinity being defined by violence and femininity being defined by weakness, vulnerability, and passivity, is horrendously damaging to both sexes, and basically is rape culture. 

I've got news for you: both genders are equally capable of swearing, hitting, and generally being huge jerkwads. 

What I would say instead: Being aggressive, much like being tough, is not the same as being strong. Your female character may be rough-talking, gun-slinging, and take no flack from anyone, but that doesn't actually make her likeable. Take Katniss from The Hunger Games. She was tough, sometimes mean, and very effective at fighting, but she wasn't always relatable. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing-- your character has to go on her (or his, but really, we're talking her at the moment) own journey, and part of that involves being flawed. But you have to go about it purposefully. Your character can be a total jerk, who maybe learns to soften up at the appropriate times. Or she can be a total marshmallow inside, and still kick butt when the situation calls for it. 

Double-chocolate kudos for you if you also get this reference.

It's people like this, writing things like that, that make me so desperate to finish my book, and to try to do what I want to do with my main character. In my mind, we have a lot of stories starring female protagonists, and they run the gamut from unabashedly feminine (think Meg Cabot books) to staunchly tomboyish (see Point of Contention #1 above). What we don't have (in the YA genre, that I've read) are female characters who are, in their own journeys, wrestling with what it means to be feminine. How does a character reconcile their ideas of what it means to be a woman, with what life requires of them? How does being female shape and change their journey? Now, I don't know if I'll be able to get these ideas across effectively in my book, or if it will be readable if I do-- my questions read a little like a Comp 101 essay prompt, even to my own eyes--but at least I can feel like I'm making a step in the right direction. It's not enough for my girls to wrestle with body insecurity, and my boys to be really really good looking. I want my characters--male and female-- to ask themselves what it means to be human. 

That's my biggest tip, for writing a female protagonist who doesn't suck. Just write a character that doesn't suck. Write a character with layers, with depth, who is more than a stand-in for the reader, who is more than "badass action hero" or "mall-loving insecure bombshell." Make her both. Make her neither. Ask yourself what being strong means to you, and let that be your guide. If you do that, you won't just be writing a character who doesn't suck. You'll be being a human being who doesn't suck.

What are some qualities of female characters you've admired? What kinds of heroines do you enjoy reading about, writing about, or watching? Leave a comment below! Leave five! It's free, after all, and typing burns calories.

I mean I type all the time, and just look at the muscle definition on my fingers!