"I Want to be a Writer," and Other Impossibly Awkward Conversation Stoppers
I don't know if I've said this before, but I believe it bears repeating. Here's how a typical conversation between me and any acquaintance goes lately:
Acquaintance: So what are you up to lately?
Me: Well, I'm getting ready to graduate college...
Acquaintance: Oh, that's great! What's your major?
Me: English.
Acquaintance: (Blank stare) So...you're going to be a teacher?
Me: Um...no.
Acquaintance: So... what can you do with a B.A. in English?
Me: (Mentally breaking out into Avenue Q) ...
Acquaintance: Oh! You could teach ESL!
Me: It's a versatile degree. I might go into advertising.
Now, that's just a lie. I don't want to go into advertising. But what I really don't want is to utter those dreaded, horrible, conversation-stopping words: "I'm going to write." Because I know that as soon as I say that, the person I'm talking to is going to be going, Ohhh, ok, she's a crazy person. It all makes sense now.
And maybe it does sound pretty crazy. I mean, how many naive kids are there out there thinking they want to be astronauts and movie stars and princesses? And almost none of them actually do. Just like it's pretty rare to have a long-lost relative pop up and tell you you're actually royalty, it's pretty rare for a twenty-something college kid to make a living writing... rare to the point of being a fantasy, in fact.
What I believe sets me apart from every other blogger dreaming about having the next great American novel and being showered with fame and riches, though, is that my expectations aren't very high. I'm willing to take a crappy job and pay back my students loans for thirty years while writing. I'm fine with being poor, shopping at thrift stores, and living off of beans and ramen. In fact, that's what I'm used to. What people don't understand is how little money you actually need, if you're willing to sacrifice fashionableness, dignity, and ease. Sure, if I was saying "I want to be a writer," and expecting to be driving a current-model Lexus and keeping my butt clad in $200 jeans, that would be totally unreasonable. But I never said I wanted that. All I want is to live above the garage in the attic, work a crappy, mindless job to pay the rent, and spend all my free time with words. I want to send hundreds of queries out to uninterested agents who never get back to me. I want to collect rejection letters.
The thing about this writing thing is, somebody's gonna make it. You look at a room full of hopefuls, maybe two hundred aspiring writers, and you go--no way are all of these idiots going to get published, much less get any kind of attention for what they publish. But somebody in that crowd will. Maybe not all of them will succeed, but one of them could. And I don't know about you, but my money's on the one who will do what it takes, make the sacrifices they need to make, work their butts off, and never give up. Basically, my money's on me.
But all of that's a little long to explain over a casual dinner, so I think I'm going to keep making up careers for myself. The truth is too complicated for conversation. I save it for my writing.
Acquaintance: So what are you up to lately?
Me: Well, I'm getting ready to graduate college...
Acquaintance: Oh, that's great! What's your major?
Me: English.
Acquaintance: (Blank stare) So...you're going to be a teacher?
Me: Um...no.
Acquaintance: So... what can you do with a B.A. in English?
Me: (Mentally breaking out into Avenue Q) ...
Acquaintance: Oh! You could teach ESL!
Me: It's a versatile degree. I might go into advertising.
Now, that's just a lie. I don't want to go into advertising. But what I really don't want is to utter those dreaded, horrible, conversation-stopping words: "I'm going to write." Because I know that as soon as I say that, the person I'm talking to is going to be going, Ohhh, ok, she's a crazy person. It all makes sense now.
And maybe it does sound pretty crazy. I mean, how many naive kids are there out there thinking they want to be astronauts and movie stars and princesses? And almost none of them actually do. Just like it's pretty rare to have a long-lost relative pop up and tell you you're actually royalty, it's pretty rare for a twenty-something college kid to make a living writing... rare to the point of being a fantasy, in fact.
What I believe sets me apart from every other blogger dreaming about having the next great American novel and being showered with fame and riches, though, is that my expectations aren't very high. I'm willing to take a crappy job and pay back my students loans for thirty years while writing. I'm fine with being poor, shopping at thrift stores, and living off of beans and ramen. In fact, that's what I'm used to. What people don't understand is how little money you actually need, if you're willing to sacrifice fashionableness, dignity, and ease. Sure, if I was saying "I want to be a writer," and expecting to be driving a current-model Lexus and keeping my butt clad in $200 jeans, that would be totally unreasonable. But I never said I wanted that. All I want is to live above the garage in the attic, work a crappy, mindless job to pay the rent, and spend all my free time with words. I want to send hundreds of queries out to uninterested agents who never get back to me. I want to collect rejection letters.
The thing about this writing thing is, somebody's gonna make it. You look at a room full of hopefuls, maybe two hundred aspiring writers, and you go--no way are all of these idiots going to get published, much less get any kind of attention for what they publish. But somebody in that crowd will. Maybe not all of them will succeed, but one of them could. And I don't know about you, but my money's on the one who will do what it takes, make the sacrifices they need to make, work their butts off, and never give up. Basically, my money's on me.
But all of that's a little long to explain over a casual dinner, so I think I'm going to keep making up careers for myself. The truth is too complicated for conversation. I save it for my writing.
Hmm. Well. *applauds*
ReplyDeleteNow that that's done, having taken a writing class with you, you definitely have the talent and potential to make it. It might take more work than even traditional writers have had to do, but it'll be worth it. Even if it's not much money, at least your writing has been sent out into the world and consumed by others. I think that's the most fulfilling and satisfying thing I can think of.
My moneys on you too.
ReplyDelete